There are several ways to predict whether a marriage will last or not. These signs are not only hypothetical signs but also scientifically proven that your marriage is in trouble. The good thing is that with the help of a couple therapist or a divorce lawyer, you have the chance of fixing your marriage.
However, sometimes, it is for the best to part ways.
Watch out for the following signs that indicate your marriage is in serious trouble.
Table of Contents
Harsh Conversations
You might think of the first sign as a harsh start of conversations. The harsh conversations can mean that you need to talk seriously with your spouse. The harsh conversations could also mean that your spouse did something again that they weren’t supposed to do. So, if the conversation between you and your spouse starts on a negative note and with a hostile attitude – things are quickly moving towards a divorce.
Look at the pattern of how you communicate with each other. If it is only arguing and harsh conversations after long silences – things have hit a rough path.
Emotional Flooding
Flooding is when a partner is overwhelmed with feelings that they cannot even speak. They are incredibly flooded with feelings to the point that they cannot tell you or the counselor about how they feel. It is not that they have nothing to say – or – they don’t have feelings at all. It is just that they have so many feelings that they cannot pick one.
Physical Distress
This sign usually goes hand-in-hand with flooding, where a partner is unable to speak coherently when asked to talk about the relationship. They are overwhelmed with emotions to the point that they experience physical distress.
If you have been allowing the conflict in your marriage to go on for so long – the anger does not get resolved for so long – you will start to have physical problems, such as ulcers, backaches, and neck aches, and you are going to start drinking more.
In other words, you will start failing from the inside. When it comes to emotional and physical distress caused by a broken marriage, you should ask yourself why you are staying. More often than not, couples choose to stay in a marriage because of their kids.
If you can relate, it might be in your best interest to get in touch with the Carlsbad Divorce Lawyers, that is, if you reside in Carlsbad. The professional attorney will help protect your rights and keep your and your children’s best interests in mind while getting things ready for the impending divorce.
Stonewalling Attitude
Watch out for the display of defensiveness, contempt, criticism, and stonewalling. These are the four aspects that make up a crucial sign of divorce. Stonewalling refers to the aspect where one partner is simply not responding. If you are having a conversation or you are trying to have a conversation, they might be looking out of the window instead of responding accurately or instead of fully engaging with you in the conversation.
Communication is key to any relationship’s success. It even gets more important in a marriage. So, if you are trying to have a conversation, but your partner is disengaged, and they are not even looking at you or telling you how they feel – it is a sign of an impending divorce.
Bad Memories
Another sign of a distressed marriage that will sooner or later end in divorce is having bad memories. Bad memories mean that you interpret history negatively. In simpler words, it means that you can only remember the negative things from the past.
It can mean something like this: “Yes, I remember our wedding. He was late as always.”
You get the point – it is impossible that only bad things happened in the past, but when you are heading towards a divorce, you will have the tendency to remember only the bad things. You will reinterpret history negatively. Bad memories are a bad sign that will lead to bad things in your relationship.
Failed Attempts at Fixing
This sign is really critical because everyone fights. Even good marriages fight. Fighting in a marriage is not the real problem. The real problem is, what are you going to do about it?
The really critical aspect is to be able to repair what you did. Fighting is normal and not a problem, but not being able to repair it is a problem. Now, when it comes to repair attempts – these can be quite simple. It can be as simple as reaching a common understanding and communicating that you are on the same side.
The thing is that you should have the ability to get back on track again. You should have the ability to repair because most marriages never really solve their problems. The thing is that you will spend most of your marriage fighting about the same issues again and again.
You are never going to raise your children the same way. You are never going to manage money the same way. You are never going to do a lot of things the same way. You will come to a point of enough agreement between both of you to be able to live with the difference between the two of you, but for most things that you fight about, you never come to a common understanding of that.
Understanding Why People Fight in A Marriage
At this point, it is important to indicate the underlying reason why people fight in a marriage. People fight in a marriage because they want to be connected. The moment you feel disconnected, you fight to feel reconnected.
On the surface level, you might think that you are fighting about money or about their parents – but you are not. Essentially, you are fighting because you want to feel connected to your partner when you don’t. Once you feel reconnected to each other, then the subject that you are fighting about doesn’t become as important.
The thing of your dispute or disagreement is never the dispute. Essentially, you are fighting about whether or not you feel connected. Once you do feel connected, the thing that was also the source of the fight – all of a sudden – doesn’t seem important at all.
